Top 10 Bernard Black Quotes

When you've got nothing to say, do a Top 10 list.

Here goes:


10. Look at his face. I bet cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl.


9. What am I supposed to do while you do the underpants charlston with this insane, blind tart?


8. In another life, we could have been brothers. Running a small, quirky taveria in Sicily. Maybe we would have married the local twins instead of wasting each other's time here in this dump. But it was not to be. So hop it.


7. Whores will have their trinkets.


6.You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it.

5. Which one of you bitches wants to dance? Hey you know when you're doing your usual threesome thing you do of a weekend, and the moonlight's bouncing of your heads and your arses and everything, does that not get a bit confusing?

4. Do you have anything in an aquarium?

3. I got you...creme de menthe.

2. It's some sort of delicious biscuit!

1. It's like looking into the eye...of a duck.